Hate is a strong word, but…

I was still in a good mood here, thanks to the fine students at Trine Univeristy in Angola, Indiana.

I was still in a good mood here, thanks to the fine students at Trine University in Angola, Indiana.

Last week, after a speaking engagement at Trine University in Northeast Indiana, I decided to travel past my hotel’s exit in search of a bite to eat; however, instead of finding a delicious meal, I wound up finding a toll road that took me all the way into Ohio before allowing me the opportunity to turn around.

Forty-eight minutes later, I made it back to my hotel room and dined on cookies, which was not the delicious meal I was looking for.

I hate tolls. I mean I really hate them. It’s one thing to have them as a convenient alternative but when it’s basically the only choice, I hate them.

Don’t I pay taxes for roads and bridges?

I was bitter that night and harped on all the things I hate in life. Hate is a strong word but it is what it is.

For example, I hate the expression, “It is what it is.”

I hate to see a dog wearing clothes. I don’t care if it is a cute Auburn sweater. A dog should never wear clothes. I don’t care how cold it is.

No comment.

No comment.

Speaking of cold weather, I hate it. Well, I kind of hate cold weather. I don’t mind it; I just hate being stuck out in it. I blame the Army for that. There is nothing fun about pulling guard duty in the dead of winter in the dead of night at Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. The wind is relentless and will cut right through any kind “snivel gear.”

Shaving in the field on a cold winter’s morning is one of the reasons I hate shaving so much.

Broccoli. ‘Nuff said.

I do hate some people. I know we are to “Hate the sin but love the sinner,” but that is easier said than done. The fact is that I do hate some people. I could lie and say that I don’t but then I’d be sinning twice on the same topic, so yeah, I hate some people.

I recently saw a video on Facebook of a lady throwing newborn puppies into a river. I hate her.

My mother used to tell a story about her school bus driver tossing a bag of kittens into a creek one morning on the way to school. It’s easy for us in 2013 to call that cruelty to animals but this was 50 years ago and was just a way of dealing with unwanted pets. They were wrapped up in a burlap sack. He didn’t enjoy the task at hand.

The lady tossing the puppies 30 feet into the air, one by one, was pure evil. I hate her.

I hate “hate crimes.” First of all, I hate any type of criminal activity, but I hate “hate crime” laws, too. To quote Hillary Clinton, “What difference does it make?” Dead is dead, regardless of motive.

If I’m killed for my wallet, doesn’t that send a message to everyone else that carries a wallet?

I hate real bullies, but I also hate how the anti-bullying campaign has just gone overboard. I also hate to hear it used as a verb.

I was picked on and teased every day when I was a kid. I hated it, but based on all the public service announcements and such, one would think that getting picked on is a new thing.

To me, a bully is Butch from The Little Rascals or Buddy Hinton from The Brady Bunch, but according to the government’s campaign, bullying also includes spreading rumors and excluding others from groups.

Butch from the Little Rascals. He was a bully and always wound up on the wrong side of right.

Butch from the Little Rascals. He was a bully and always wound up on the wrong side of right.

I thought school was supposed to prepare kids for life and the real challenges of life but instead tries to create a social Utopia, which is not the real world. I think the over protection of kids will make them less resilient in the long run. There will always be unpleasant people in society. We must learn to deal with them.

Some of the biggest bullies I dealt with as a child are some of my best friends today.

I hate loud music. I don’t care if it’s Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne. Turn that junk down. If I want to hear that “boom boom”, I’ll play it myself.

I hate when people blow their nose in public, particularly at the table while I’m trying to eat. Do you think it’s ok to do so? It’s not.

Do you see what I did there?

I hate crooked politicians.

I hate bad breath.

I really hate crooked politicians with bad breath.

Rod Blagojevich, crooked with bad breath.

The very crooked Rod Blagojevich, trying to hide his bad breath.

I hate when my egg isn’t fully cooked and still contains some of that runny white stuff. I hate talking on the phone. I hate reality TV. I hate profanity in public. I hate dirty bathrooms.

Hate is a strong word, but sometimes, at least for me, seems quite appropriate. The good thing is that we don’t have to dwell on all the negativity life dishes out. There will always be unpleasantness in the world. We just have to deal with it.

Jody Fuller is a comic, speaker, writer and soldier with three tours of duty in Iraq. He is also a lifetime stutterer.  He can be reached at jody@jodyfuller.com. For more information, please visit http://www.jodyfuller.com.

Promo pic small